Baby Experiments

I've heard of people... mostly psychologists... running social/developmental experiments on their own children.  This seems like a great way to screw a kid up.  However, now entering my 8th month as a father, I have often found myself thinking up various ways to help Liam learn and/or associate various things appropriately.  I don't know that I consider these methods to be "experiments" in that I'm not intentionally depriving or over indulging Liam in something and than sitting by with notebook in hand to record the result.

Where the line is drawn between assistance and experimenting is kind of fuzzy though.  For instance, Lesley and I have been working on some basic sign language with Liam to help him communicate.  I can definitely see that he is comprehending what we're doing and is even beginning to mimic some of the signs.  Very normal, right?  Lots of parents do stuff like that.

Ok, so here's another idea I've been thinking about recently.  Liam is a good sleeper, but almost every morning he will wake up at 5 or 5:30 and cry out for a minute or so and then go back to sleep for another hour before waking up and repeating the same thing.  Sometimes this happens as early as 4am.  It's obvious from his cry that he's not upset, and I'm fully convinced that he just has NO idea if it's time to wake up or not.  So, he'll wake up, think to himself, "Hmm... I wonder if it's time to wake up." and then proceed to page us for a minute or so before deciding, "Nope, must not be time yet... Zzzzzzz"

What he NEEDS is a cue to let him know that it's still sleepy time without having to make loud noises that wake his parents up! (Now you're seeing my real motivation, eh?)  Obviously he can't tell time... although there is no clock in his room, so maybe I'm just not giving him the chance...  But I bet he CAN tell the difference between light and dark!  Suppose we install a timer on the light in his room that turns a light on at oh, 6:45 or so, so that when he wakes up he knows that he can page us and we'll come get him.  It's a simple equaition: Dark + Page = Sleep.  Light + Page = Wake up!  Eventually he'll see that Dark = Sleep, Light = Wake up!

The main complication is natural light that makes it past his blackout curtains being confused for the wake time light.   Perhaps another option is for Lesley to make waffles every morning at 6:45am.  That way "waffle smell" = "wake up!"  Hmm... I'm liking the sounds of this method much better.

I tried to find a funny picture by searching for "Baby Experiment", but they were all pretty boring and/or freaky.  So here is a video of another experiment we ran: The Effects of Swinging on Liam.

We Got the Giggles

Liam's friend, JJ, is an experienced swinger. He brought Liam to show him the ropes.
Liam scooted forward in the seat. I think

he wanted to stretch out and give you all

a good look at his chubs.
"Weeeeeee!"

Hello out there! I don't even want to add up the many months it has been since I posted something. AWESOME things have happened and we've done so much as a little family of three but I haven't recorded them. :( Sorry!! I want to go back in time and write up fun things from the past few months. Maybe that will happen. Anyway, I am blogging now so try to savor every word.

Look at Liam swinging! Oh, what life has to offer! He went swinging for the first time last week (June 15th) with his buddy JJ Plesko. JJ is quite the mover and shaker. He'll be a thrill-seeker for sure. It's only appropriate that he was the friend to show Liam how fantastic swinging is. Liam giggled and smiled as the first puff of air whooshed past him on his debut swing. He had a great time. Derrick and I took Liam on a little bike ride to swings near us last night (on Father's Day). I haven't uploaded those pictures yet, though. The summer is bringing the best of times!

The real reason I decided to write today was just for nostalgia reasons really, but you can't have a blog post without pictures so that's why I put some swing ones up. Anyway, this morning Liam and I had our first round of "The Giggles." I was feeding him after he woke up from his first nap. I don't really know why but I said "Peekaboo" to him and he smiled so big. I said it again and he laughed. Then I laughed. Then he laughed. Then I laughed. We were laughing like crazy together for no real reason. His whole face lit up. His eyes were laughing, too. Liam's laugh is adorable and contagious. I tried to take a freeze frame picture in my mind of that moment. It wasn't a laughing fit where you feel like you're going to puke (or does that just happen to me?). I think only Derrick can do that to me when he tickles me to the ground or says something ridiculous in some goofy voice. Or, you better watch out when my mom, sister and I get together. Usually Lauren says something off the wall and we burst out laughing until our stomachs hurt. I loved my giggle time with Liam! Just pure, natural happiness from my precious son. It's one of my favorite moments with my boy. I hope I remember it forever.

Amazing bugs!

I heard a quick blurb on the radio this morning, about cicadas, that blew my mind.  Apparently, cicadas are immobile larvae for 13-17 YEARS, depending on the species, and then they emerge in overwhelmingly massive numbers for one purpose - mating.  After only a few weeks they're all dead and the cycle starts all over again.  It sounds a lot like most boys when they reach 13 to 17 years old.  There's only one thing on their mind, and it must be accomplished before death no matter what!

There are, of course, many other fascinating details about these little buggers... read all about it on the all knowing Wikipedia.

Flawed Building Plan

The office where I work has two men's bathrooms.  Each bathroom has 2 stalls.  I would estimate there are around 200 dudes in our building.  With the advancement in technology in the way of smart phones, the average time spent in a stall during the day has risen dramatically (speaking with absolutely no references here, just a general perception).

Let's assume the average bathroom break takes 5 minutes - which seems much shorter than actuality... depending on the game, video, article, etc. a bathroom break might be in excess of 10 minutes... alas, I digress.  Also, assume that each dude takes one to two doodoo breaks per day... so we'll estimate 1.5 for our calculation.

200 dudes X 1.5 doodoo trips X 5 minutes each  = 1500 dude doodoo minutes
Divide that by 4 stalls = 375 dude doodoo minutes/stall, or 6.25 hours of occupation per day per stall!

Besides being absolutely disgusting to consider using one of these stalls (I won't go into some of the horror shows I've seen...), there are also the logistics to consider.  I cannot tell you how many times I've walked on down to the ol' men's room on our floor to find that all two stalls are occupied.  So, I'll venture downstairs and discover that, yup, both occupied as well.  Something to do with the timing after breakfast and lunch I think...  After all, there should be almost 2 hours of unoccupied time in an 8 hour work day.  Unless, of course, one or two stalls is down for repair - GOD FORBID!

Nothing makes me want to go to the bathroom less than knowing I'm probably the 40th or 50th dude to use that stall for the day... I think I'll drive home to go to the restroom now...

Stuff

Whenever I am idle - not working, out with friends, or doing work around the house - I have noticed that I have this strong compulsion to go buy stuff.  Sometimes there are specific items that I have in mind to buy, but more often it seems like I just want to go to a particular store and wander around until the thing that I subconsciously went there to buy just jumps out at me.

A year ago, this type of behavior was more common and was actually feasible because Lesley and I were DINKS (Double Income No KidS).  Now we are SIOKIDS (Single Income One Kid In DiaperS... yes... I just made that up).  Thus, it is not only irresponsible to continue with this type of behavior, it's also potentially dangerous.  We use several different budgeting tools - Mint.com, Pageonce.com, and of course - like any good engineer - there are several spreadsheets.  We've laid out a very specific budget that gets down to the details of things like: how much we spend on coffee, and how much we spend on movies.  However, all it seems that these tools REALLY do for us is promptly notify us that we've way overblown our budget in almost every category.

About two weeks ago, while standing in the kitchen, I said to Lesley, "Hey, we should try going a whole month without buying anything that isn't a necessity."  She quickly responded, "Yeah, that is a good idea." I immediately realized that what I was saying had WAY more of an impact on myself than it did on her.  In general, Lesley is not a superfluous spender.  She has something that I was not born with: Patience.

Yesterday, Lesley's dad mentioned that he has decided that he is not going to buy anything for the entire month of May.  I took this as a confirming sign that I should give it a go and partner with him.  Even now, as I type this, I'm nervous about the endeavor.  Lesley's dad is already incredibly frugal and I have, in the past, considered him a role model of how to live contentedly on less.  His lifestyle does not include the very expensive maintenance that mine does.  Running, cycling (road, mountain, and commute), flyfishing, backpacking, etc. all have the same expense in common: GEAR.  I could, right now, blow thousands of dollars at REI and Bass Pro.  This is not a new problem either, here's a photo from 2006 that should help you understand - yes... I'm carrying my Kayak while riding my mountain unicycle after my college graduation.  Our garage and basement are packed full of items like these...

Lesley's dad is going to be blogging daily about his experience, and I'm hoping to get in a few posts as I go through the experience as well (perhaps Lesley will give us some insight from her perspective).  You can follow Linden on his blog if you like, and if you're interested in joining us I'd encourage you to consider blogging about your experience as well.  Knowing there are other people suffering... er... trying to do the same thing would be very encouraging.

The Great Garden Debate

I don't know what it is about landscaping our yard that is so hard, but making decisions seems to be terribly difficult.  Am I the only one who feels this way?  Here's some background:  When we moved into this house, there was very little landscaping that was done.  Everything was nicely put together, but there were very few features.  A deck, a tree, a small patio, a lawn, and a dog run.  Not a whole lot has changed there, but we did remove the dog run and build some very nice garden boxes.  The only problem is that after about a year, our neighbor's tree began to shade the boxes for the majority of the day.  Ever since, when March rolls into April, I begin voicing my complaints about how our yard is laid out.  Every idea I come up with on making alternate garden locations are shot down by my wife (with good reason... it would be a bit ridiculous to have random garden sections in the middle of the lawn...).

I even have odd/desperate ideas enter my brain like building a deck above our house for a garden; Plenty of sunlight up there!  Of course, there are things like residential code, aesthetics, and logistics.  I am pretty sure I'd be breaking some kind of law by building a garden above my house.  I'm also fairly certain it would look silly and very likely trashy.  Furthermore, imagine hauling all of that dirt up to the roof to fill whatever box/deck thing I'd put up there.  Then imagine how heavy that would all be once it was watered! I'm pretty sure the wonder-roof-garden would end up a wonder-living room-garden in no time.

Another idea is to tear down our fence and plant a garden in the open space behind our house.  Now we're definitely talking about a code violation... aesthetics would be much better for sure, and logistically it'd be a piece of cake.  Well... 2/3 ain't bad.

Often times, when I'm getting bogged down on a design at work and can't figure out how to make any more forward progress, I'll just let out a loud sigh and/or grunt of frustration and completely start all over.  Perhaps that's the way to go.  I'll just bulldoze the back yard and start fresh.  A clean slate.  Endless possibilites... well, bounded by our property lines I suppose...

No, no, I'll tell you what the easiest solution is.  Buy a house with a yard that has already been perfected by a master gardener.  Why should I bother with all of that "thinking" and manual labor when I can just leverage the creativity and sweat of someone else??

Or, I could forget about a garden and just get one of these cool yard offices.  I don't work from home all that often, but I sure would if I had one of these babies!

This is an Office Pod. Very cool.

I like adults

I joined MOPS today!  I attended a meeting in February but now it's official; there will be two scheduled times each month I get to be with adults.  Yahoo!!  Other mommies actually.  I like adults. I need the interaction.  These women will answer questions, give advice, pray for us. They'll talk back to me...in a good way. Liam doesn't quite know how to keep the conversation going like adults do. MOPS so far has been a great place to just listen and socialize and get to know bits of the lives of other moms. We're all in the same boat and can encourage one another. Being a mom is a job like no other.

I've always been more of a listener than a talker. I do like to listen.  Liam makes fantastic baby noises. He coos and giggles and even shrieks with delight. I adore his sweet noises and enjoy listening to him.  The noises in my day are just very different than they were several months ago.  I would hear, "Mrs. Wildhaber, can I go to the bathroom?" "You make good circles." "Could you help me, please?" "Do we get to do an experiment in science today?" I used to listen and even talk a lot during my days.  Now my day is quieter and calmer, more repetitive but still joyous.  My days are filled with uncontainable joy and love.  I love being Liam's mom.  I'm even really used to it now. We have great days together.  I can say I don't miss teaching but it's still weird to think about that big change.  Last week my sister and I were out at the park with my nephew, niece and Liam.  Lukas was playing on the playground at Ryan Elementary when the school bell rang.  Kids came flooding out, smiling, chatting, giving hugs, asking questions.  It was a little sad.  I used to have relationships with kids that age.  I'd be given hugs and smiles. I'd be asked questions.  I would get to help these little kids on many levels.  I think I do miss that.  I miss the dismissal bell ringing. Haha!  Saying goodbye and see you tomorrow was the easiest part of my teaching day. You are dismissed! (More like good riddens some days :))  But they'd be back and I'd have noise and fun around me all too soon the next day.  My sister and I were talking once and I remember her sharing some of her thoughts on leaving teaching to be with her children.  She said something along the lines of, "I know I couldn't be a good teacher and a good mom at the same time."  My sister and I were both very hardworking, diligent, hands on teachers. We went the extra mile with planning and grading and interacting with our students. That took a ton of extra time.  That's the only kind of teachers we know how to be.  Lauren was right. There is no way I could be the quality teacher I was and be a quality mom whom my family can depend on.  I know some teachers can absolutely do both and that is amazing.  They can keep it all straight. I'm amazed and proud of them for being able to wear so many hats. I know someone or something would get neglected if I tried to do both. I chose to take care of my child over someone else's children.  Someday I do want to do both.  Teaching was rewarding.  Motherhood is rewarding. I'm still experiencing the differences and the different feelings/validation I get from both.  Children will always have a special place in my heart.  I know I am called to spend my days with them.  These days it's just one child, Liam.  And now, some adults will be filling my days, too!!  I like adults. These women minister to my heart in a different way than my students did or how my son does. I'm thankful there is a MOPS group close to me.  I was already friends with two women in my group so that made it even more appealing.  Oh, and today, we made cookies at MOPS. Who doesn't like that? Well, to be honest, we gathered all the dry ingredients and put them in a baggie to make at home but it's still cool! Derrick will like it.

I am looking forward to adult conversation and new friendships. I am looking forward to having something else to focus on.  I know I will learn from these women, too and that makes me excited. Liam loves people so MOPS is a good place for him to be every once in a while. The women have already mentioned that his freely given smiles make them feel better. I am blessed by his smiles for hours a day so I'm happy to share.

Quinn is still in the ICU, but you can help!

For those of you who know Quinn, you know that he has been in the hospital for a couple weeks now in the ICU. The doctors are working round the clock to treat Quinn and determine the exact cause of his condition. Please consider donating to help Quinn and his family offset the accumulating medical bills.

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Baby Liam-Our Son is Here!

Well, how long do you think it'd take to make a post about our son's birth? Two weeks, two months, umm, no, how about 11 weeks! Well, it's been a while since the blessed event and I'm sure none of you is surprised that our baby's here since most of you have met him and at least seen the many, many pictures posted by his proud parents. We are still so amazed and even more in love. Here goes the birth story...better late than never.

Well, starting about 4:00 pm on Thursday, October 21st I noticed my contractions were a little different, not quite the regular Braxton Hicks I had gotten used to in the weeks previous. I could still easily breath and pretty well walk through them. Derrick and I were up a couple times that night because the contractions woke me up. We watched some of Sand Lot - a perfect movie for little boys. We went for a walk at midnight. I tried to get some more sleep. I was a bit excited and anxious. (I realize now I should have tried harder to sleep.) Derrick stayed home from work on Friday. By 11:00am the contractions had become more irregular again but we made an appointment to see my doctor to see if there had been progress. We saw her about noon. She walked in the door and said, "You're not in labor; you're still smiling". I said, "Yeah, I know but the contractions are lower and stronger and a bit different." She said, "Believe me, you'll know, it will knock your socks off!" Anyway, I got checked (not much progress-still 1 cm), the doc monitored the baby and all was good so Derrick and I headed home. I was trying to take a nap but Baby had a different plan! I felt a huge kick, heard a pop . . . you know what that means. 3:35pm Friday, October 22nd. Immediately after my water broke the contractions were suddenly much stronger, making me stop, breathe and focus. I ate a banana and we headed to the hospital. I was feeling ready to take on this labor thing. My socks were on tight.

I had to lie in bed while they checked me in - not fun. I didn't want to spend labor in bed. I really wanted to be able to move around. We tried some positions we had been taught in our Coping with Labor class but I wasn't able to really find a comfortable position. We tried the exercise balls, kneeling, etc. I was having back labor pains as well. We tried a warm bath (complete with a grape popsicle so nicely given to me by Hubby.) After I got out of the tub something changed and I had jumped into another stage of labor. Umm, it was crazy painful at this point! Nothing I tried worked, I kept telling Derrick, "Help me" as a contraction started. And help he tried. He was so supportive and tender hearted. I was at a loss as to what to do. The nurse had me lie down again to check things. I was at 5cm at that point, only 3 hours after my water broke. Technically in dilation I was halfway there. Labor was progressing extremely quickly. The contractions were a minute and a half long and coming about every minute and a half. I would sometimes have a fifteen second break between contractions. I couldn't muster up any energy or will power to get out of bed. I was hanging on to the bed rail now, squeezing it to death, grimacing, clenching my fists, my eyes, screaming, I think. Yes, screaming at this point. And I'm not a particularly loud, vocal person so that might give you a hint as to what I was feeling. I feel silly saying it now but I thought I was going to die. The contractions were taking over and I couldn't deal with them. Derrick was talking to the nurse. I was not hearing. He said to me, "I'm going to get you an epidural unless you say no." That word "epidural" I heard but a resolved yet slightly hopeful "OK" was all I could conjure up. Later he told me how hard it was for him to see me in so much pain. It was overwhelming him. I had no idea. Derrick was so strong for his wife and baby during the entire labor. He helped immensely!

The anasthesiologist came in. I never even noticed him. I had to sit up and stay still for several minutes as he got the needles in. That was a new challenge. Once the medicine had kicked in the nurse said we could lie down and try to get some rest now. What?!? I never imagined that was an option. I thought that was a strange concept-to rest during labor-but I was open to the idea. Thank the Lord for epidurals. I would not have had any energy for the rest of labor let alone pushing without it. It was the best decision for us. We are still thankful we had the option of that medical help. My socks were found clear across the room. I think I heard them screaming, too.

I didn't rest a ton that night as I could still feel the tightening and pressure of the contractions. I was glad I could still feel that much because I knew the next stage of labor and feeling was important. I was anxious to get this show on the road and meet my boy. The epidural definitely slowed down the labor process because it took 10+ hours to dilate the other 5 cm. At 5am it was finally time to push. Our nurse was off at 6am and she wanted to meet this baby, too. I tried to meet that deadline but pushing was a lot more painful and took more effort than I imagined! Liam was a little stuck for a bit but lying on my side got him to turn his head. It was a beautiful moment and our son was born at 7:54am, October 23, 2010. (Our sweet nurse stayed the whole time, by the way.) There was some stitching up to do but I couldn't care less about that pain. The baby on my chest gave me warmth. Seeing his ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes gave me comfort. His sweet, little noises were the sound I had been longing to hear. His beautiful face instilled in me instant pride. Every second with him pulled on my heart strings. Our love compounded as the moments passed. We were a family of three now. Our son was here! The past 16 1/2 hours brought him here safely. Praise the Lord! I have joined the club. I think my socks were shaking in the corner. I say labor not only knocked my socks off, it rocked my world! The joy of experiencing life with our son will continue to rock my world. I am so ready for that!

What a blessed day. I wish we could have stayed together, our happy little family, uninterrupted forever. Soon that Saturday morning welcomed wonderful family and friends we got to show off our baby to. They gave him so much love. It was special to be surrounded by visitors who cared so much about our new addition and his not-as-cute parents. We even got to introduce Baby Liam to Thea Lauren, Uncle Olli and his cousins. Lukas had been talking about Baby Liam. He knew he was coming.

During our hospital stay, Daddy Derrick was happy to change all Liam's diapers. He took good care of us both! We would both frequently just stare at our miracle boy. Sometimes I would be a bit surprised when I remembered he was ours to keep. Oh yeah, he was the reason we were in the hospital. Becoming a parent literally overnight is a wonder. Daddy and Liam have a sweet, special relationship. Everyone can see how much he cares.

Looking back on labor I can say it was a lot harder than I expected but it brought me more joy and love than any other event. It brought Derrick and myself even closer together. Our son is our treasure. He is simply amazing, perfect and the most precious. We are in love.

Squishy's Stats: 8lbs 7.5oz - 21.75"